It doesn't matter how big your bones are

 I have never been athletic. I feel that first reason for my lack of athleticism would be that I suffered from childhood asthma. Even the slightest exertion would reduce me too wheezing and frantically reaching for my inhaler. As a small child, I almost drowned in the middle of swimming class due to having an asthma attack... From then on I became anxious of everything that could possibly set off my attacks and obviously, exercise was on this list (Along with cats!) My mother and my teachers were indulgent, allowing me to sit out classes and to only take part in the easier exercises.
  Luckily for me, I grew out of my asthma but by this point the damage was done. I was miles behind my fellow classmates and still terrified of setting my asthma off by truly pushing myself to work hard in PE lessons. Teachers don't want to waste their time on children that are not enthusiastic or naturally talented in their subject and so they didn't encourage me either (I knew only a handful of super teacher in my short time of education, sadly none of them taught PE) . I constantly compared myself to the other girls of my class; the ones who could do a handstand, glide effortlessly through the water, do a lap of the field without collapsing in a heap and had infinitely long slim legs. I would look down at my own body and wonder what was wrong with me.
  When I confided in my mother about how I felt about myself she told me not compare myself with them. I was "Big boned and academic". I know that my mother meant well and to a point, she was right about me. I am not a petite girl who is delicate and slim but instead I am tall with broad shoulders, wide hips and capable hands. My skills were academic not athletic. However, her words stuck with me. I am big boned.
   I subsequently stopped believing there was any point in trying to fight genetics. I was never going to be one of those girls. I decided to give up on exercise and focus on the things that I was good at. For a while this worked for me and I did well at school, getting into my first choice of university. I was happy with how my life was and where I was going...

Well that sounds wonderful Tilly, so why on earth have you started this blog?
Like a lot of students that go to university, I gained an awful amount of weight. My unhealthy lifestyle combined with my total lack of exercise (not to mention the booze...) had caused me to start sliding down the slippery slope of obesity. I was horrified to find myself not being able to fit into my usual jeans. It was time to take action.
   I joined a gym, I ate healthily and I lost weight. But it didn't stick...I totally lacked the motivation to simply keep at it. Having absolutely no fitness to work with, I found everything an absolute mission. I hated every single minute I pounded away at the treadmill. Consequently, I always gave up... until the weight started to creep back and I would hit the gym again. During this yo-yoing, I noticed two girls that were regulars in the weights sections. It would be hard not to notice them considering how absolutely stunning they both looked,  exactly how I wanted to be. Green with envy, I whined at my partner about how I would never be like them. He simply responded with "Rubbish". He then began the tough job of convincing me that I could be anything I wanted and achieve anything... all with a little bit of hard work.
   With his help, I began to research how to permanently change the way I live and the way I look. This research ended up at women lifting weights. I was fascinated by the amount of misconceptions and myths that surrounded women and weight lifting when there is so much evidence that girls that lift weights are hot! I stumbled across various websites that provided me with masses of information and motivational pictures of  people who looked just like me becoming something so much more. I realised that it didn't matter that I wasn't petite or skinny. I could become a better, faster, stronger version of myself  no matter my current level of fitness. All I needed was time, determination and the courage to stop hiding behind my excuses.

So me and my partner hit the gym. Luckily for me, he had been one of those kids that I had envied  so much at school and so knew exactly how to start me off. Under his patient guidance, he introduced me to the world of weights. And oh my god... I freaking love it! I have finally found something that truly excites me and has me wanting to go back for more. When you combine that with all the amazing, motivational websites and blogs that are out there on the internet, I was and am hooked.
One of the most inspirational blogs that helped me to believe I can change is strongisnewskinny. I simply cannot summarise the morals of this blog any better than Adam from practicalpaleolithic

"TO ME, “Strong is the New Skinny” is about women deciding FOR THEMSELVES what they want to look like and who they want to be.

TO ME, “Strong is the New Skinny” is about women being STRONG and TRAINING HARD and TRAINING “LIKE A GUY.” 

TO ME, “Strong is the New Skinny” is about increasing EVERYONE’S awareness that WE – us as individuals – have a serious level of control over stereotypes and norms and what is accepted and what future generations see. We – each and every one of us – has the ability, tools and OBLIGATION to lead and inspire future generations and create a better world."

To me, that is everything I want to be and be part of. And so here I am, like so many others, joining the SINS body transformation blog challenge
I will be documenting what I want to achieve and how I am going to go about doing it. Hopefully, my motivation will stay strong and soon I will be on the road to becoming better shinier version of me. And of course, it doesn't matter how big my bones are ;)

 I would like to leave you with a quote that has now become my motto.

"Strong is dedication, desire, perseverance, passion and acheivement of the goals you set for yourselves. Strong is a state of being attainable by every body"

From  StrongIsTheNewSkinny facebook group